Saying Farewell

As I've gotten older, I ponder over many things of the past. Loves never lasted, betrayal from family and some friends, and heartaches never healed. I can forgive the people who have wronged me in this life, but I don't think I will ever forget. It's crazy how it's always the people that swear they would never do that, the ones you trust more than anyone in the world, and would give your life to save theirs. Those seem to be the ones that leave the deepest impressions and hurt the worst.

I've had my fair share of those kinds of relationships. Lovers who made me feel as if were not good enough for them only to beg for me to come back to them. Perhaps I wasn't broken enough or I was easy to push around. A father who pushed me away because I was born a girl and until his dying day never wanted to see me again. A sister whose jealous nature constantly urged herself to take or destroy anything anyone had. The classic it's everyone else's fault and not hers. The loving stepfather who showed you mercy but threw it away after 30 years because he was a coward. When people ask me why I don't trust these are the reasons. They are only a few but they are the ones that impact me the most. They are the ones I can forgive but not forget.

However, on the bright side, I've been blessed. I have 3 fabulous children, lifelong friends, and a few family members who help me strive to always be a better person. They are the ones that help me overcome the demons inside my head and heart. They are the ones that slowly heal my wounds. I am not perfect but I am perfectly imperfect in so many ways.